Caught between Nehemiah’s perseverance to build the walls and those who were picking at his heels to avoid the wall going up. I feel that often. Good meaning people who become an emotional drag rather than teammates to achieve a eternal victory. I so easily just want to write them off as whiners yet I am compelled to love them in the power that only comes from Jesus. Can’t say that I am that successful. It seems so much easier to give up rather than go on.
Nehemiah was building that wall, feeding people, his fellow leaders screwing their countrymen with high interest rates, locals accusing him of setting up his own kingdom and what does he do? He continues to build the wall. Father help me continue to build your church. 25 people indicated they crossed the line of faith Sunday! Still hard to believe. I am not sure what that means but I know that we don’t have a path for them to run. We need that path this week.
In the midst of this I feel like I have a heart of stone. I cried through the BGEA meetings last night. Because He Live, not exactly my kind of music but it was my father’s song that carried him through my moms/his wife’s death. To this day I hear it and remember my mom. Then, Above All when it gets to the Like a rose trampled on the ground you took the fall and paid the price for all and to top that off And Can It Be! Just blew me away. It melted my heart of stone and made the evening worthwhile.
Father, I am plagued by the idols, sex and image. I want them to go away but they seem to be my constant companions. Dealing with them does keep my humble and attempting to live in submission and surrender. What does that look like? How does that work? I teach people on a regular basis but I don’t seem to have a corner on the truth for myself. I truly am a wounded healer. I want to be on top of it but I feel like I am always climbing. Thus I need you!
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